i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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