make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
