Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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