when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
