It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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