Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
