i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
