we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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