Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
