the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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