Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
where does the pee come out of this thing
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
