Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
