Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The adults are the big ones right?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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