I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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