No stitches, just platelets and will power
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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