remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
