While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
