Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
God, I missed his penis.
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