Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
