I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
