i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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