i would punch a child for taco bell
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
