So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
