Plan B is the new Plan A
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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