Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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