She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
