worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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