Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
