we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
