who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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