Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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