Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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