I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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