On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
