Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
