The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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