Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
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