I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize