Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
