I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
