I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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