i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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