you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have tasted many bathrooms
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
