I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
