we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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