It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
