Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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