Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
