Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
