Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
