i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
